so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
