so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
