I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
