hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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