we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
