I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
