I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
