my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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