Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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