When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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