did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
