can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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