I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
