I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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