I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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