we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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