Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so let's talk penis.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
