I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
