he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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