physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
