Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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