so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
