My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
