I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
