I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ttyl tear gas
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
