I got chris browned last night
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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