who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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