I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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