never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
