Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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