Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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