Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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