Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
