I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
