I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want nice things and good sex
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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