sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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