Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's shark week go big or go home
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
