i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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