the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
