from now on my penis is your penis
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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