belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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