And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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