Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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