So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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