I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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