Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
