We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
