omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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