He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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