Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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