i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
