Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
