Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
