Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
